Some Funny Quotes

1. Someday your prince charming will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
2. Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?
3. "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."
4. Heaven won't take me and hell's afraid I'll take over.
5. We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
6. It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
7. 9 Things to Hate about Everyone
   
   1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours?
   
   2. People who are willing to get off their sofa to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
   
   3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
   
   4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it?
   
   5. When people say while watching a film, "did you see that?"

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"

7. When something is 'new and improved'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". Life is the longest thing anyone ever does!!! What can you do that’s longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, would I be standing here???

• There are three types of people in this world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened.
• I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me.